Because his name begins with “Jok,” Serbian basketball superstar Nikola Jokic has been christened “The Joker” by American announcers. This nickname fucking sucks. “The Joker” is the main Batman villain (Batman is a man who dresses up like a bat to solve crime in many popular comic books), a clown man who thinks crime is… Continue reading JOKIC IS THE JOKER, JUST NOT THAT ONE
When I am writing a first draft and I am ambivalent about something, I almost always end up reaching for an adverb. “Mostly,” “about,” “or so,” “primarily,” “very,” “extraordinarily,” all those bad boys are just sitting there waiting for me to reach a point in a draft where I am making a point that even… Continue reading NASHTY DEALINGS
Hello! In case you didn’t know, writing is hard. You gotta come up with ideas, then come up with words to serve those ideas and honestly man it sucks. Sometimes, when you’re as famous as I am, you sidestep the first thing by having your readers send in questions you can answer. You do this… Continue reading PLEASE DO HALF OF THE WORK OF WRITING MY CONTENT VOL 2: JIMMY BUTLER AND STRATEGIC EJECTIONS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMpoqbkPvzo Mark Jones’s voice is peaked the fuck out, befitting the last few posessions of an extraordinarily tight Game Seven. “HOUSTON WITH THE BALL AND UNDER A MINUTE TO GO!” You’re juiced, he’s juiced, we’re all juiced. Then, something miraculous happens. Eric Gordon, back to the basket at half court, protecting his dribble, makes light… Continue reading Chris Paul Goes Out Tumbling
PLEASE DO HALF OF THE WORK OF WRITING MY CONTENT VOL 1: Hello! In case you didn’t know, writing is hard. You gotta come up with ideas, then come up with words to serve those ideas and honestly man it sucks. Sometimes, when you’re as famous as I am, you sidestep the first thing by… Continue reading PLEASE DO HALF OF THE WORK OF WRITING MY CONTENT VOL 1:
https://twitter.com/gifdsports/status/1296641268785741825?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1296641268785741825%7Ctwgr%5E&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.radio.com%2Fsports%2Fnba%2Fformer-nba-coach-george-karl-slams-mark-jackson-on-twitter In addition to the many wins, losses and plays of note, this week’s NBA news cycle also featured a Beef between irritable two older men. Mark Jackson was on TV, where he said, “Hey, everyone said Melo was bad at defense, but actually he’s not.” This statement, probably incorrect, so Van Gundy said man… Continue reading Mark, George, and Me.
Offense is up. Shooting percentage is up. The reasons why are strange and varied. Foul calls were way up at the beginning of the bubble, probably on account of refs being able to hear slapping flesh and curse words on the court more clearly, but even after everyone has adjusted to that particular weird new… Continue reading Is Bubbleball THE FUTURE?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcjqAnam_fc&feature=youtu.be Mario Hezonja, currently playing entirely too many minutes for the Portland Trail Blazers on account of Trevor Ariza opting out of the bubble, catches a rebound in traffic. He gets the spirit, dribbles down the court, manifests his ideal self in his head. I am Mario Hezonja, he says, and I can make it… Continue reading Super Mario Inadequacy!
There are times when I see something happen in a basketball game so deeply irrational that even when it happens in service of the team I root for (The Portland Trail Blazers), I am haunted by an undercurrent of unnerved loathing for the very process of reality itself, of the fucking random nonsense that drives… Continue reading Stupid Shot That Disproves Causation Brings Joy, Terror to Author
Movies have abandoned the body. Once, you could sit down in a theater on any given weekend and watch unbelievable dancers moving across a large frame, your mouth agape, in awe of full command of their movements. But as years went by, technologies improved and tastes trended away from the spectacular and towards the evocative:… Continue reading PLAY OF THE NIGHT: Nikola the Silent Movie Cat